Power can be lost in many different ways which can lead to very unhealthy behaviors. That being said there are many ways to regain it and help build your self confidence. These tips can help you become the best possible you and help you live a happy and more fulfilled life.
1. Honor Your Boundaries:
If you don’t establish boundaries in a relationship you are allowing them to become toxic relationships in your life. When working on your boundaries the first thing you should do is accept your emotions as what they are. Once you can accept how you feel, you can start validating them yourself and in turn expressing those emotions outward. For example: If you are at work and your boss asks you to come in on the weekend, before you react right away I want you to take a second to acknowledge how you feel. If you are happy to pick up those hours then you may reply with something like “yes, I would be happy to work this weekend.” However, if you are feeling upset/sad that your boss is asking you to pick up more hours than you may say something like “Thanks, but I can’t.” This may be hard at first, especially for people that are codependent because they feel the need to make others around them happy. However, the more you do this exercise the easier and more rewarding it will become.
2. Be More Independent:
Doing things on your own can give you a sense of power as well as a boost in self confidence. For people who are codependent, doing things alone is often scary and hard to do. Here are some things you may try to establish more independence: Go See a movie by yourself, shop by yourself, hike by yourself, go on a trip by yourself, or eat out at a restaurant by yourself. The more you do things on your own the more confident you will become in your abilities to complete tasks alone.
3. Use The Golden Rule:
Treat others the way you want to be treated. To gain respect you must give respect. If people realize respect isn’t important to you, than they may not respect you either. You can’t expect to throw shade at someone and not have them react in a negative way. People have feelings and boundaries themselves and if you overstep those boundaries you may lose people along the way. Anytime you feel a negative emotion come to surface with someone else, try envisioning yourself in their shoes. Imagine how you would feel if you were in their position. This will help you understand if people’s reactions are valid or not and will also help you establish boundaries within relationships.
4. Work on Your Emotional Health:
Having more awareness about your emotional health can drastically improve your confidence. Letting your thoughts come and accept them for as they are is one way to help heal from codependency. Other ways to work on this may be to repeat mantras daily such as “I am in control of my life” or “I am enough” as well as setting up daily goals that allow you to challenge yourself. Another way to improve your emotional health is by using positive emotional outlets for your emotions. For example: If you are feeling really angry instead of coping with self destructive approaches like substances, food, yelling…instead try to release it in a positive way. This may mean boxing, running, dancing…whatever works best for you.
5. Keep Your Circle Small:
Losing your sense of self can be a scary feeling and it’s even scarier when you feel like everyone is out to get you. In order to heal and regain power after abuse you should keep your circle small. The more alone time you have to process your emotions the more confident you will be communicating with others. Over time it will get easier being around people and you will no longer be phased by their actions and won’t feel the need to please others.
6. Take Control of Your Life:
For some it’s easier to get lost in other’s problems than accepting our own. However, in order to regain control over your own life you must learn to accept and work on your own problems first. Once you’ve learned to address your issues first the easier it will be to control your life and become a healthier happier you.
For more information about independence and codependency please visit my blog.
The Courageous Codependent 